I Have Called You Friends

Old Mystic, May 17, 2009
John 15:9-17

Summary

We are called to abide in the love that Jesus offers and to offer that love to others. That relationship can be called friendship. Jesus made us his friends that we may befriend our neighbors.

Sermon

Who doesn’t need friends? In a world where loneliness is so present we all need that person we can lean on. Remember the movie “Lean on Me”? It told the story of how people working together in love, cooperation, and friendship were able to overcome the odds and bring a High School in a torn down neighborhood to the academic level needed to avoid its closing. I’m not sure how many have actually seen the movie, but probably more have heard the song. I particularly enjoy the line that goes, “Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long, 'til I'm going to need somebody to lean on."

Friendship is perhaps one of the most precious things in life and the word friend can be used of anyone with no distinction. Our brother or sister may be a friend; our spouse or co-worker; our fellow church member or neighbor; someone alike or someone different. In fact the translation of the word used in our text, philous, is “loved one.” In our culture, the word is sometime watered down though it is commonly accepted that friendship implies a relationship, with certain familiarity, reciprocal support, and trust. The depth with which the word friend is employed will significantly vary with the user.

I must confess that my choice has been over the years to give considerable weight to friendship. I have definitely subscribed to Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quote: “A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.” And, as many do, I have often used the qualifier “best friend” to refer to a very few people in this life because, unfortunately, like many, I have not been always sure whether I could actually trust and “think aloud” with a so-called friend. As humans we often fail and our mutual trust is broken.

But friends are precious and the use of the word becomes powerful when it comes from Jesus. “I have called you friends because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from the Father.” What a flattering remark for his disciples! They were imperfect; very often, full of doubts; had limited understanding, and were not even sure who this man Jesus was. But they stuck to the relationship. They were there most of the time and they only fled under the threat of the authorities that crucified the Lord. In the end, however, as they grew in faith and understanding, they remained faithful to Jesus who had offered them friendship.

The passage seems to indicate that friendship is a two-way road but a road that we begin to tread. Jesus set the example as he laid his life for all of us. He said, “No one has greater love than this, to lay one’s life for one’s friends.” As a matter of fact, laying one’s life for a friend was part of the definition of friendship in those days. The other expectation of a friend was “frankness of speech.” And that was exactly was Jesus offered his disciples: his life for them and the honest telling of all the things that the Father had told him. But it began with Jesus’ offer. This is the kind of friendship that is not built on expectations but on giving.

Friendship is a relationship that is built on love. On the love of God sublimely expressed in Jesus Christ and His saving grace. We were loved by God to abide in love. It is love what makes God so attractive! There is no thought as powerful as that one that the God creator of the whole universe loves me. And that is an unfailing love. Everything in the world may come to an end; the markets may collapse; society go into turmoil. War may destroy us, and we may be left hungry, naked, and dispossessed. But, as Paul put it: “For I’m convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Such is the love offered in friendship by Jesus and the commandment follows that we love one another as he loved us.

Friendship is a relationship; a two-way relationship between God and human beings and also among humans themselves. We need God and we need each other. We were created to be related to one another. Not many things in life are as obvious as the fact that we are relational beings. The greatest moments in life take place when we are surrounded by people. When we are born, baptized, married, and we have children of our own; when we gather to eat and be merry; when we worship and pray, and even when we join to celebrate the life of those who pass. The mark of those moments and of a life of friendship with God and others is joy. Joy, that exhilarating feeling, so difficult to explain. That sense of goodness, happiness, and wholeness. Joy is the experience of heaven on earth when we have an anticipation of that peace that passes understanding and we want the world to stop. Unfortunately, in this world, joy is perhaps just a snapshot of what is to come.

Jesus words are compelling and soothing: “I have said these things to you so that my joy be in you, and that your joy may be complete.” Isn’t this good news? What other thing could the Gospel be than Jesus’ friendship? In this postmodern age, more than ever, the Good News of hope, salvation, and peace are going to be spread through friendships, especially in a world where many “outsiders” to Christianity are still offering us hospitality and friendship. The joy of Jesus’ friends who offer friendship unconditionally can and will make a difference in the world.

Friendship is a relationship that bears fruit. Jesus said, “… I chose you. And I have appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last…” When a tree or a plant bears fruit there is a purpose that is fulfilled. And fruit is related to life because it contains the seeds of life so that the tree or plant will give life. Jesus’ friendship is life giving because he laid down his life for us. And, as it was mentioned before, laying one’s life for one’s friends was part of the ancient definition of friendship. In our age, friendship is perhaps taken a little more lightly. We have many relationships that are sometimes shallow, other times deeper. Yet, the love of God urges us on to love sacrificially. We are being stretched day by day by the love that took Jesus all the way to the cross.

By offering friendship we can offer life; the life of Christ that is in us. That is the kind of quality life that the world needs. It is not just the spiritual life; it is life at its fullest where needs are met through friends; spiritual and material needs. Offering friendship implies building community, as we offer it gratuitously to everyone; to those who are near and to those who are far; to those who look just like us and to those who look quite different. The church is a rudiment of that kind of community where life is offered through friendship; friendship rooted in the life of Jesus Christ.

As we look into our own lives, our relationships, our victories, and failures, we may come to the conclusion that we are barely beginning to grasp the meaning of receiving Jesus’ friendship and offering it to others. Perhaps we can scarcely sow some seeds of that friendship. But we are on a journey and we are not alone. After all, the one who said, “I have called you friends” is no other than our Lord Jesus Christ and he is walking with us in this journey. He is our friend, we are friends, and if we persevere in those relationships, we will make more friends into life and life with Christ.